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First Year: My Transformation

Jennifer Tacbas

38 weeks and 5 days.  That’s how long it took to prepare me for the biggest transformation of my life.  Over the coming year, I am so excited that Me Ra has invited me to share this ever evolving journey with you–to inspire you with baby photo tips, new mom “a-ha” moments, and all the in between in a weekly column called First Year.  But since this is the first post, here is where it all began.

I began a new journey this past spring, one that was to be the most incredible journey I will ever come to know.  Some days the journey was tough and trying, but all days were filled with excitement and anticipation for the single moment I would instinctively take on a new role, the role I had been anxiously awaiting for.

38 weeks and 5 days came along on January 5th, 2013.  At 2:06pm, I finally welcomed my little Logan Leigh Tacbas into the world, held her lovingly in my arms, looked deep into her beautiful eyes and became her mother.  I cannot accurately describe to you the overwhelming sense of love I felt for this tiny baby, all 7.1 pounds and 19 inches of her.  I looked at my husband in disbelief, trying to make sense of the fact that he and I had created this beautiful little human.

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When she was whisked away from me to complete her newborn assessment, I felt as if she was gone an eternity.  Those few moments were the only ones she and I had been apart since the beginning of this journey, from when she began to grow inside of me.  As soon as she was brought back to me – only a few minutes later – I breathed a deep sigh of relief as I held her.  She was finally mine.

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Here it is, 8 weeks later, and I still look at her in disbelief and wonderment.  I have re-fallen in love with her every day since the day she was born.  And I also continually fall in love all over again with my incredible husband, Jason, who has walked along side me on this journey, and who I watched effortlessly transform into an amazing father from the very beginning.

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My heart is so full.  Everything in my life has new meaning.  I cannot even begin to put into words the beauty and the goodness of this transition into motherhood, but I know that I do not need words – everything that I feel with my heart, with my whole being, silently makes perfect sense.

38 weeks and 5 days.  That’s how long I had to wait to meet my daughter, to transform into a mother, to become complete.

January 5th, 2013: The beginning of a new journey, and the best day of my life.

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As I share this journey with you over the next year, I would love to open up the dialogue.  If there is ever a photo you see that you have a question about, don’t hesitate to ask in the comments.  Or if there is a memory that my post reminds you of, please tell!  The wisdom of moms who have gone before me and the excitement of those who love baby photography are things I can’t get enough of.

For starters, what are the first two or three words that come to mind when describing the moment your own transformation happened?

First Year Cheers,

Jen

  1. […] Travel on over to Me Ra’s blog to read my first post – First Year: My Transformation. […]

  2. Neyssa says:

    Thank you for sharing, Jen! Such a beautiful story, and beautiful photos. I look forward to following the journey of your first year of motherhood!

  3. Me Ra Koh says:

    YAY!!! Jen, your first post is live for FIRST YEAR! What a honor to have you share each week!

    My three words when Pascaline was born…
    exhausted, relieved, READY! (READY is the funniest word b/c I had no idea what I was headed into!)

    xoxox,
    m

  4. Jennifer Tacbas says:

    Hi, ladies! I enjoyed reading the words you chose to describe YOUR transformation into motherhood! My 3 words are zen, beautiful and fun. I am laughing at my word choices because all through the pregnancy, I was convinced I was going to have an absolutely HORRIBLE labor. I’m so glad I was wrong! I was so focused and “in the zone” when I labored at home before we left for the hospital, I was able to pack, take a shower, and clean the nursery while I waited for my contractions to get closer together! I felt so beautiful all throughout my pregnancy, but nothing topped how beautiful I felt when I held Logan for the first time. And yep, I actually had FUN during my birthing experience! Call me crazy, but I loved every minute of it! (Well, minus the intense back contractions right before my epidural. Could have done without those. Ha!)

    Thanks so much for reading my post today. I look forward to meeting up with you all again next Monday. Until then, have a wonderful week!

  5. Suzanne says:

    Congratulations, Jen! I love how you said you had fun during your birthing experience because I did, too! I videotaped the births of two of my last two babies…and I mean I was the one holding the camera! I guess I’ve always been pretty good at multitasking!! Your photos so far have been gorgeous, and I look forward to following your journey as you and Logan continue to experience all of the firsts this magical year brings.

  6. Jess Robertson says:

    Joy, relief, elation! Love you girl! Can’t wait to follow this amazing journey of yours 🙂