This weekend I was in TX giving the closing keynote for a powerful women’s conference. I spoke on the topic of understanding desire.
There were 1200 women, and there was a rumbling that I felt in my spirit which is hard to put into words. Twelve hundred women coming together with a single purpose of seeking more freedom to be who they are, to express their creativity in the way they individually experience it, to find deeper healing and be empowered to move forward with their vision–powerful.
The speakers before me…POWERHOUSE WOMEN…each one was a completely different expression of femininity, strength, wisdom and confidence. One made me laugh so hard I thought I was going to pee my pants. Another made me cry my eyes out, and it was sooooo healing to cry. When I got up to speak, I could feel the rumbling as I looked at this audience of beautiful women. It was a deep rumbling ringing through my soul. A rumbling of women wanting to know that who they are–all the specific things that make them who they are…is good enough.
I see a change coming among women. And it’s a beautiful, powerful change. I’m wondering if any of you are feeling the rumble inside your spirit.
One of the things I shared is how important desire is in a woman’s life. As women, we were created with an enormous capacity to hold an ocean of desire…desires for our children, desires for our marriage, desires for our friends. But what about the desires that we have for ourselves. What do we desire? Could we list ten things right now?
Many women I meet these days can’t. They can list desires they have for everyone they love, but for themselves…their face goes blank. I feel it heavy on my heart to share with you part of what I shared this weekend. There is a lie that has been speaking to us. And I wonder if you’ve heard it. The lie says that if your desire doesn’t make sense, can’t be guaranteed of end results that are worthy, and especially if it’s silly–well, that desire isn’t noble at all. Why would you spend time pursuing that desire?
Can I tell you what I believe God has shown me over the years?
He plants seeds of desire inside of us, and because He lives “outside of the box” those desires rarely ever make sense.
They almost seem selfish. Silly. Crazy to pursue because of how unqualified we feel or even may be. It reminds me of how we look at our pictures in the camera. We run through them super fast, deleting any photos that don’t make sense right away. But what if there is meaning in the photos that are mistakes, like we talked about last week?
What if there is a thread that is meant to be followed–leading to something bigger. What if the step of faith is to pursue and value the desires we’ve always pushed down because quite frankly, as a mom and business woman, I have a fear of spending my time on something that won’t pay off when it especially takes me away from my kids. But what if that is the step of faith? To risk spending the time on something that doesn’t make sense, when we must admit…it’s a desire we can’t shake.
I believe many of us have had it backwards.
This is key to understanding desire. We are waiting to chase the desires that have clear, noble purpose. But the purpose comes after we take up the desire and run. The meaning comes in the journey. And the start seems to always be a step into the unknown. The dark.
I invite you to take a few minutes to yourself. Lock yourself in the bathroom if you must and turn on the shower so everyone thinks your busy, even better if you have a perfect bathroom to inspire yourself and give you peace.
Write down five desires you’ve had in your heart, ones that you haven’t let see the light of day. Think of the desires you had when you were a child, or the desires you gave up after having a baby. Go back to that place of innocence with me when the impossible still seemed possible. The first step to being fulfilled is knowing what makes your heart sing.
What makes your heart sing? The world is desperate for songs that are true and genuine.