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This I Know Is True (From One Mama to Another)

Me Ra Koh

If you haven’t guessed it yet, you may notice that I’m all about moms on this website/blog.  🙂  Since I believe that Mother’s Day should be Mother’s MONTH, we are giving a little extra honor and celebration to all the moms out there throughout the month of May.  I asked our three SOAR! Scholarship Recipients to write a reflective piece on motherhood.  If you missed Ali’s post, A Mother’s Sole, you gotta read it.  Today, with honor, I share Rachel’s post.  To see more of Rachel’s awesome SOAR! journey, CLICK HERE!

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THIS I KNOW IS TRUE, Rachel Abelson

There are many things in life that I am uncertain of. There are many questions I do not have answers for. Though I wish I knew everything there was to know about motherhood, that is not possible.  I have many curiosities, many uncertainties and even more questions. But here is what I know for sure:

The first time I held my babies, the world was perfect.
In the months leading up to the births of my children, I had the same thoughts all women (and most men) have. Will my baby be healthy? Will I be a good mother? How am I going to do this parenting thing? Am I really ready to be a parent? How can I make his/her life the best? All the doubt, worry, and concern was erased the moment I heard them cry. In that moment, there was no worry, no concern. There was nothing more special or more amazing than that little person who had just came into my life. At that moment, the world was perfect.

Love doesn’t divide with more children, it multiplies.
(Thanks, Alison-you were right.)
When Pete and I married, I thought there was no way I would love someone as much as him. During my first pregnancy, I had the fleeting thought run through my head: I know I am going to love this little girl more than anything, but can that be when I love my husband so much?   Then I held her.  I had just as much love for her as I did him, but in a totally different capacity.  Then came my second pregnancy. That fleeting thought was back: Will I really be able to love him as much as I love her?  The answer: absolutely, positively, YES.   I first thought that my love would be split between the two, then my dear friend Alison explained it perfectly: Love doesn’t divide with more children, it multiplies.

I may not be the perfect mom, but I am perfect for my children.
No one is perfect. No one has all the answers. We all make mistakes, I can name a few off hand. But I do know this-No one can love my children more than I do. And that makes me the perfect mother for my children.

Nothing my children do could ever make me love them less.
Yes, they’ll make mistakes. Yes, they’ll do things I don’t agree with. Yes, I’ll try to advise them and they’ll throw it out the window. Yes, they’ll frustrate me (sometimes they already do!). And Yes, they’ll say hurtful things when they don’t get their way. Through all that, no matter what, I will love them. Because there is nothing my children do that could make me love them less.

We have a gut for a reason.  Trust that instinct.
We’ve all heard it-the little voice in your head that tells you to do something, to check on someone. Maybe it was more of a recurring thought telling you to do something. You try to get it out of your head, but you can’t. And you shouldn’t. That voice, that thought is there for a reason. To keep you safe, to keep your children safe. It may tell you to check your child’s temperature because she feels cool (turns out it was 95.9 degrees). It may tell you to peek in the crib (turns out the blanket was on his face). It may tell you to call the doctor (turns out we had to go to the emergency room). Whatever that voice tells you, whatever that recurring thought is-make sure you listen to it. We have a gut for a reason-always trust your instinct.

Most of all,

Mothers, Grandmothers, Mothers-to-be, and Future Mothers, remember this: You are amazing. You are beautiful. You are loved.

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I love all the TRUTHS that you describe Rachel–a couple of them had me going down memory lane.  Thank you so much for sharing your heart, and your beautiful images!

To all the mothers out there, what else do you know to be true about motherhood?  We’d love to hear!

xoxo,

m

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  1. BreAnna

    May 23rd, 2011 at 7:11 am

    I loved this, Rachel! My husband and I were just talking about when we would like to have another baby and in the back of my mind I had the same thought…I know I would love another baby more than anything, but would I be dividing my love for my husband and our son with the new addition? Your post made me remember back to when I was in labor with our son. I had that same feeling, but as soon as I saw that little guy, tears ran down my face…love does multiply! Thanks for the reminder!!

  2. Sarah C

    May 23rd, 2011 at 4:57 pm

    My fave – having a gut for a reason. Cute post. Adorable photos. Can I just say you look like the fun aunt or big sister in running stance with your baby girl. So spunky Rachel, keep it up! : ) Love your little guys expression in the car photo. Cheers!

  3. ali anderson

    May 23rd, 2011 at 6:30 pm

    oh, rachel. oh my. such absolute truths in this post.

    when georgia was coming out, i remember thinking, “well, i’ll just have to love this one the best i can” and then…i heard that first cry and it was that pure, first baby love all over again.

    thank you SO MUCH for sharing this. xo

  4. Wendy Zippwald

    May 24th, 2011 at 6:18 am

    Rachel…you’re awesome! Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us about motherhood! I love the “I am not a perfect mom, but perfect for my children”! I am adopting that.

  5. Debbie Abelson

    May 24th, 2011 at 8:56 am

    Rachel, I loved reading your blog this morning, I really liked the statement, “Love doesn’t divide it just multiplies”, it is so very, very true. I think I am one of the luckiest Moms in the world; I have 3 sons who are all grown up now; they have given me so much joy in my life, it is so wonderful because now that they are grown, we are also friends. But my love multiplied 8 years ago, when my oldest son, Pete came home and told me that he met the girl he was going to marry. My husband and I fell in love with Rachel, and she is a wonderful daughter-in-law,wife and Mom, she is everything I had ever dreamed of for my son to marry.(I know I am very old-fashioned), and now 41/2 years ago, and almost a year ago, I was blessed with being called, “Grammie, so my love has multiplied again.
    with the 2 most wonderful grandchildren. I am looking forward to more multiples of “love” in our family in the future, I think you can’t have too many multiples.

  6. Genie

    May 26th, 2011 at 4:06 pm

    Beautiful reflection Rachel – and such a tribute from a mother in law! Your heart is so wonderful. Not only do I love “I may not be a perfect mom….” but the statement before it, “No one can love my children more than me”, gives you the proof that you’re perfect for them. You are so solid and real. Thank you for ‘filling your space’ in this post (see Me Ra’s blog about Oprah).