I remember the day my dad called.  He wanted to tell me about a show he’d discovered.  After losing his leg in June 2010 to a tragic accident of being hit by a teenager who was texting, he’s required to have daily down time in either rehabilitation or rest.  His down time has given him a chance to see a few shows he’s never watched before.  “Mee-da!” (insert his Korean accent) “I’m watching this show right now, her name Opah–ORPAH?–not sure how you say, but she AMAZING.  Remind me lot of you.  You should check her out!”  Thus, one of the BIGGEST compliments my dad could ever give me.  Little does he know, Oprah’s been one of my hero for years.

Oprah has taught me countless lessons over the years.  But these are the 7 lessons Oprah taught me about business and confidence.

photo: Mashable

1.  To Just Begin.

It’s so easy to not follow your dreams until all your ducks are in a row.  But the problem is that all our ducks are never going to get lined up perfect.  So why not just begin.  Our dreams are waiting with expectation, ready to meet us.

2.  Transformation (i.e. change) is a Beautiful Thing.

When I think of change, I have the instant awareness of feeling awkward.  Does anyone relate?  If so, it’s shouldn’t be a surprise that we would avoid change at all costs.  So if the C word is a nasty word, flip your take on it and find the T word looking back at you–Transformation.  I have loved flipping through this month’s O magazine and looking at 25 years of Oprah’s changing, transforming journey.  Everything from her hairstyles, to her outfits, to the show’s sets, and most importantly, to the guests she’s interviewed–all of it is in this beautiful ebb and flow of constant transformation and change.  All the photos over the years are living proof that transformation in the beginning stages, middle and end are BEAUTIFUL.

3.  Asking the Hard Questions is Cleansing.

We’ve watched her interview countless guests.  The guests who allowed her to ask the hard questions, the courage it took in her to ask those hard questions, I am eternally grateful for.  Their stories of inspiration and resilience continue to give to me.  It’s so easy to avoid the things that may cause us pain, but as Oprah has shown us again and again, attention to the painful questions can be powerfully cleansing.

4.  You are the BEST Gift You Can Give.  (the marketing strategy we took for our photography)

When Brian and I first decided to advertise our wedding photography, we went to Barnes and Noble and looked through every wedding magazine for ideas on what kind of ad to run.  Every wedding photographer’s ad was amazing!  ALL of their wedding photography was beautiful.  When every one’s work is amazing, how do you stand out?  I turned around and saw an end cap with Oprah’s O magazine. She was on the cover of every issue.

And that’s when it clicked.  I was the BEST gift I could give to our clients.  My photography wasn’t the best gift I had to offer, it was ME.  I asked Brian, “what if we did an ad with a photo of just me, and not a single example of our wedding photography?  What if we risked stepping out in boldness with this ad, and making the statement that the photography we’d shoot would be so good that we don’t need to show you examples in an ad because the bigger issue is you feeling safe and comfortable with your photographer?!”  What if I showed you a picture of me having fun, even laughing–expressing all the joy I feel when I hold my camera.

Would this translate to our clients?  It was a big risk.  We dove head first.  Yes, the rumor is true.  We took a second out on our home and paid $15K for that single piece of paper (that is the pink ad you see above you) to run in Seattle Bride magazine and Grace Ormonde’s Wedding Style magazine.  What was the reaction?  We got some angry emails from photographers who thought I was nuts and completely full of myself.  But I knew what Oprah was trying to say with her photo on every issue.  I was the BEST gift I could give my photography clients.  Within two weeks of the ad running, a bride found our Grace Ormonde ad and said “Your picture, YOU, remind me of my best friend! I love your laugh! (amazing comment b/c she imagined the sound of my laughter from the photo of me) I’ve got have you be my wedding photographer!”  She booked our first $10K wedding, then another one booked a second $10K package a week later, and then a $15K package booked two weeks after.  Our business forever changed by that one risk, and for that, I’m forever grateful to Oprah for leading the way.

5.   Critics will Always Be There–So Get On with Your Dream Building!

How many times have I been in line at the grocery store and seen another nasty tabloid attacking Oprah?  Too many to count!  And yet, this woman has pioneered forward again and again.  It’s easy to think that Oprah has some special gift for not being affected by all the criticism–and thus, ‘I don’t so I can’t go forward because of the criticism I’m facing’.  It’s funny how we look for any excuse possible to get out of dream building.  But Oprah doesn’t give us freedom to let those excuses have the last word, she gives the opposite.  When Oprah started to cry in her interview with Barbara Walters this year, when asked about the rumors regarding her friendship with Gayle King, we were reminded of how human she was.  Her heart is HUGE, and how can she not be hurt by the criticism.  Every time a certain episode speaks to me, I’m always so excited to go online and post a comment–and I’m blown away by all the negativity that is already there.  So in this beginning stage that I find myself in dealing with criticism, I’ve been watching Oprah closely, trying to gleam from her.  Despite all the critics, she’s kept pushing forward.  Oprah’s taught me that the critics will always be there.  Now that I know that, I don’t need to let those critics weigh in on my decision making.  I am free to go ahead and get on with my dream building!  And so are YOU!

6.  “Fill Your Space”

I wish I could remember which guest said this to her because I’ve never forgotten the phrase.  “Fill Your Space.”  It’s the last thought I have before I get up and speak.  Every time, in that single moment, before I face my audience, whether it’s a conference or Nate Berkus Show taping, I remind myself of this quote “Fill Your Space!”  The tendency is to feel instantly self conscious, and shrink back.   So I say it out loud, “Fill Your Space Me Ra! Don’t shrink back.  Don’t hide your gifts, your enthusiasm, your passion.  FILL YOUR SPACE!  Breathe in deep and FILL IT ALL–every corner of who you are physically, emotionally, and spiritually–FILL IT WITH CONFIDENCE.”

7. One person, one woman, can do a WHOLE LOT OF GOOD!

Regardless of what pain we’ve endured, what lies we’ve been told, what shame we’ve carried, we are worthy of being loved, heard and living our life to the fullest.  And we can, no matter how insignificant we feel at the moment, bring powerful change to the world.  If anyone has shown us that one person, one woman, can do the impossible (over and over again), it’s Oprah.

Thank you to the AMAZING staff at The Oprah Winfrey Show who has worked the longest of days, year after year, to bring us the magic of Oprah.  When I see the around-the-clock intensity and commitment of the team at the Nate Berkus Show, I can’t believe that some of you have been at it for twenty plus years!  You are all simply AMAZING!  Thank you, thank you, thank you!  And Andrea, I DEFINITELY think you should wear that pink dress when you speak at the EVO Conference!  You ROCKED that dress and photo!

And to Oprah, with all my heart, I want to thank you for the incredible courage you’ve had and continue to carry.  Your example has made a way for all of us.  You have been an inspiration to me countless times.  You have given more than words can contain.  One of my wildest dreams is to one day meet you and give you the BIGGEST hug EVER and then listen to you share all your wisdom!!  So look out!!!  🙂

xoxo,

m

p.s.  What are lessons that you’ve learned from Oprah?!  Post em up in the comments. I’d LOVE to hear!