Artist Living

Did You Judge Your First Flight?

Me Ra Koh

We had friends over for dinner a few nights ago. The temperature has been so high here that we decided to sit outside. There was a whole lot of cheep-cheeping coming from our apple tree that hangs over our table and chairs. And wouldn’t you know it, there was a Robin’s nest in the tree with three little babies poking their heads out. Wow. We all marveled at our discovery like there was no tomorrow. To see how small, frail and sweet these baby birds were…it just took my breath away.

Now you aren’t going to believe this! But as we were starting our meal, one of the baby birds climbed out of the nest. For the first time, he pulled his wobbly body up and out of the nest and sat on the limb. His siblings were squawking in protest behind him. His hair was matted, and he looked so skinny, especially his little legs. In my opinion, he didn’t look strong enough to fly at all.

Inspiration from Me Ra Koh Blog

And then he did it! Despite my opinion, he took flight for the first time. We dropped our forks in disbelief! This little guy decided to go for it, with this brother and sister now chirping him on in the background. You should have seen it. He jumped off the branch and flapped his little wings so hard. As he flew, he went down, down, down. He wasn’t soaring like his mom, but the fact is he did it! He actually flew from the tree limb to the hedge down below. It was amazing!

The whole moment hit me. It wasn’t about jumping out of the nest and soaring for his first flight. It was about getting the nerve to jump and flap those wings as hard as he could. It was about taking the leap and not judging himself on how good or bad he did. In fact, judging his first flight was the farthest thing from our minds! We were so enthralled with the fact that he did it! He risked it and actually jumped! I’m not even his mother, but I couldn’t be more proud of that little guy. He totally went for it!

All this hit me the next morning when I was writing. I so often judge my first flights. If I don’t find myself soaring after the first leap…’well,’ I wonder, ‘maybe I’m kidding myself.’ That is where my mind goes. Instead of being enthralled with the fact that I actually tried jumping, I start making a list of what I did wrong and should have known better to do or not do. Brother! It’s RIDICULOUS if you think about it. Who can jump at all with that kind of pressure!

This little guy is going to have many more jumps. And we all know that the more he jumps, the stronger his wings will get. The less scary it will be. The more control and precision he will gain. But it all takes time. And even more importantly, it requires him to jump multiple times.

Are you in this story too? If so, where are you at in the story? Are you still in the nest wanting the answer to come to you like a mother brings the morning worm? Are you climbing out of the nest b/c your ready to find the answer for yourself? Are you standing on the edge, debating on whether or not to jump at all? Maybe you are hearing the critics below–they don’t think your ready to fly–not yet, now now–it would be irresponsible of you, they say. Or maybe you are in the midst of your first flight and panicking b/c your going down instead of up? Are you judging yourself b/c your first flight didn’t end with you soaring?

What do you say we get back up on the limb together, and try jumping again?…and I’m thinking this is the key. We don’t just jump again, but again, and again, and again. You with me?

Baby Bird Taking Flight, Me Ra Koh Photography

xoxo,

Me Ra

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The Running on Empty Contest has begun for the Washington DC CONFIDENCE Photography Workshop! If you know a mom Running on Empty, nominate her within the comments of THIS POST by this Sunday night at 6pm PST. The entries so far are beautiful and heartfelt, you can read them on the post.

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  1. Erin says:

    Me Ra, thank you so much for that. It’s just what I needed to read this morning!
    You’re the best!!!

  2. lora says:

    Perfect timing! Exactly what I needed to hear this morning 2 days before a beautiful wedding that I’m shooting on Saturday. I’m for sure in the midst of climbing out of the nest! 🙂 I so appreciate this encouragement. I think all day Saturday I’ll be imagining myself as that baby bird. You are just too much sometimes with all your sweetness Me Ra, I’ve just got to meet you one day…especially since I tell all my photog friends in GA about you. 🙂 I LOVE the 2 pictures you captured to go along with the story! Thank you times a million for every word you just wrote..my heart is pitter pattering for you! Blessings to you and your family. Hope you stay cool somehow…I lived in Seattle for 5 years I remember how it felt to be soooo hot and have no AC, when is the Northwest gonna get with it and realize that having AC for those couple of short months is sooo worth it!!! 🙂 Take care, Lora

  3. Nicki Smith says:

    Even though I shouldn’t be, I remain constantly amazed at the way God uses other people to talk to me. He used you this morning to bring a message to me and I am so grateful. Thank you for serving as His messenger this morning.

  4. michelle s. says:

    Beautiful metaphor and great timing as usual. 🙂

  5. Lori Calhoun says:

    Your timing is impeccable! Thanks!

  6. Tacey says:

    Mera, thank you…my ‘flapping-as-fast-as-I-can’ spirit desperately needed to read this. You know that I practically ran and jumped off my protective nest…now, I’m flappin’ as fast as I can…sometimes I nudge up, and sometimes I’m nose-diving….Today, I’m aiming to soar….Much love to you.

  7. Nicky says:

    WOW!! I am so thankful for you! Amazing words! So encouraging!!

    Thank you!!

  8. Melinda says:

    I love how you always know exactly what so many of us need to hear, Me Ra. I’m so happy to get the chance to share this life journey with you. Thank you for keeping it real. I find that so inspiring. I am still in the nest for part of my artistic life but in other ways I’m taking tentative flights around the apple tree. I love the feel of the wind in my feathers.

  9. Kelly Nelson says:

    Thank you for such a beautifully written post this morning. It was just the boost I needed to start my day. I’m ready to jump!

  10. Me Ra Koh says:

    I’m so glad this post is connecting with so many of you! I woke up this morning with a fearful start that I shouldn’t post this b/c it was silly. I decided to push that thought aside and take the dog for a run. It was so wonderful to come back home and find all your comments so far.

    This may sound crazy, but even though 15K of you are reading this blog every month, I spend time praying for all of you. I pray for creative wisdom and insight into what some of you may need to hear or feel like your going through. And what often comes back to me is “Share your own journey Me Ra. Share your ups/down and in betweens. Stay authentic b/c that is what people are hungry to hear.”

    If any of you are comfortable, I would love to hear “how” you are jumping off the limb. Are you shooting a family session? Are you taking a photography class? Are you trying your camera in anything but Auto mode? Are you working on a self portrait? Are you building your first blog or website? If you are comfortable, it would be so inspiring to hear.

  11. Freida Hall says:

    Wonderful! When are you writing your next book… an inspirational photo one I’m thinking!?! Thank you for sharing this beautifully written post…

  12. Love your message here, Me Ra! I am like you, I wonder why I didn’t soar out of the gate. Your suggestion to stop and look in awe at ourselves and the fact that we took a leap is spot on! Thank you for this, I needed it!

  13. GDevilla says:

    Just what I needed. I love this story!!!

  14. Kelly Nelson says:

    MeRa- I’m one of the lucky women signed up for your DC workshop. I’m right at the point of doing all of the things you mentioned in your comment. I took a photo class this spring, I’ve now taken 4 family shoots as portfolio building, and I’m working on using Manual all the time. I feel like I’m having successes, and have gotten great responses from my friends on the photos I’ve done. I’ve been working on my blog for about 2 months now, mostly as a place to post my session results and pics of my kids. I feel like I’m ready to take the next steps, but I’m kind of like the little bird teetering on the edge, and not sure what to do next. Anyway, I don’t really have a point here, but to say thank you. I wouldn’t have done any of this if it weren’t for your inspirational postings here.
    Can’t wait till September.

  15. jeramy says:

    excellent. so many different areas that i can apply this in my own life. the first one that comes to mind is getting married….at the wise, ripe old age of 21 (for 2 weeks). much like the little robin, i had no idea what i was in for…but i was determined to go for it…and it worked.

    one difference that i see is when we’ve tip toed around the edge a few to many times, we’ve calculated our risk maybe a little too much for our own good. rather than jumping out of instinct to soar, we hopped from one branch down a couple of inches to another….”huh, that wasn’t so bad…maybe i’ll try one a little further away?” unlike the bird who did the whole thing….do or die. there is prudence in “trying out” the leap…but i think it can also limit the potential pay off. i’m really speaking to myself here….i ‘m way more cautious now with the extra bird backpack of children, bills, future, etc…it makes me think that maybe the lack of stuff is what gives you the freedom to take a real risk….or is it simply state of mind? huh?

    thanks mera….

  16. jeramy says:

    oh….15K….seriously? whoa!

  17. annie says:

    Wow Me Ra.. seriously, it’s amazing you posted this today.

    My first flight. I’ve taken too many first flights in the past two years to count. It’s been amazing, terrifying and not always successful, but so very worth it. My current one.. I see what I want, my vision is so clear..but how to get it? I’m not sure. I need to shake off the self doubt and take that leap. Leap into the unknown, stray from the comfort zone. I’ve done it before, I can do it again.

    annie

  18. Melisa says:

    Me Ra, I would love to tell you how I am jumping off a limb… I would have to give you most of the credit too. After the workshop in June I went home and jumped off a limb dove head first in starting a photography business. You are such an inspiring person THANK YOU!

  19. Kari says:

    I love this story and I don’t even like birds….

    Thank you for inspiring me today!

  20. Michelle says:

    How do you always write your blogs to answer my fears? It’s like you hear our fears and address them when we need them. =)

    Ever since the Seattle Workshop, the one thing I promised myself was to not shut doors and that if one opens, it is for a reason that was meant to be.

    Although I swore I wouldn’t do weddings, about 2 weeks after the workshop I received an email from a wedding photographer asking me if I was available to photograph her friend’s wedding because she was in the wedding and unable to. She knew I had never done a wedding before, but had Faith that I could do it.

    My gut reaction was to say “no” out of fear, but because I had attended the workshop and realized that most of my fear for failure is MY own voice in my head and not what others think of my work, I decided to just say “yes”. I learned from my Seattle Sistas, you and honorary Sista, Brian, that I need to just jump and keep jumping. Although I continue to question my own talent out of fear of the unkown, most of the times these leaps end up in me soaring and feeling fulfilled in the end.

    I am learning to jump even if I am afraid. The worse thing that can happen is that I will fall, but even if I fall I know I will always stand back up and try again. And try harder at that.

    Am I nervous beyond nervous? YES MA’AM! But I just keep reaching back in my memories of the powerful Seattle Sistas weekend and know I will be just fine! =)

    Thanks for this post and reminding me that jumping is okay!

  21. Richelle says:

    Thank you so much for this story. It literally brought me to tears. Photography is my passion. I can feel it in my gut. It’s what I am supposed to do. But, unfortunately, I’m the baby bird waiting for it’s mother to bring it the worm. I have let fear and doubt paralyze me for years. Your story has inspired me to think long and hard about taking that leap & flapping my wings as hard as I can. Thank you!!!

  22. Julie Watts says:

    I’ve been afraid of coming up with and executing promotions. It’s my next big “leap”. I thought up a promotion with a friend of mine who runs her own home business. We ran it for 4 weeks and it generated zero interest. Though tempted to say “See, you really aren’t meant to go big-time, you don’t have it”, I took a deep breath and said “This was your first try, and you were a little timid. Take a look at where exactly the weakness was in the PROMOTION. The idea was good, but there was SOMETHING missing. Maybe something very simple. This is just the beginning of something that will be great once you get the hang of it.”

    The instinct of that little guy to try flying was SO critical to it’s survival. It doesn’t need reasoning, or math, or the zillion things we have in our big brains…it just needed was the urge to “go for it”.

    Awesome Me Ra!!

  23. Pamela says:

    After a recent modeling session (a first for me) for professional photographers who are also models (offered a barter for work I wanted). I doubted my abilities the entire time, completely clammed up. I came home and confessed to a friend that the way that I just hid inside and apologized for my inabilities were just as bad as someone who is arrogant and boastful. Hiding inside is just plain wrong when we have so much to give. Thank you for sharing, **I** needed to hear it (& will need to hear it, over & over).

  24. Me Ra,
    Amazing! After the ATL workshop I took a leap that I didn’t even know I wanted to take. For a few years (since the babies came along), I’d been looking for a new creative outlet and also some kind of business to start. For some reason, it never occurred to me that I could have both at once! I thought I was going to ATL to learn about my camera, get some time to myself. Two weeks later I was telling everyone that I was starting a business! I jumped and am learning as I go. I feel just like that bird. But if I’d gotten all my ducks in a row….it NEVER would have happened! Thank you! So much of what you said that weekend, and what you have written and done, continues to encourage me.

  25. I’ve been standing at the edge of the nest looking down for awhile. Maybe I’m afraid of how high up I am? That this branch I’m on is too high for me? And I’m watching others birds, birds on higher branches, beautiful birds, and they are flying so well…and each time it makes me want to get out of the nest, and just give it all I’ve got. I’m almost there. I can feel it in my wings… 🙂

    thank you again mama bird~

  26. I.LOVE.THIS! Me Ra, you rock my socks. Thank you for always encouraging all of us, and yourself. <3

  27. Wendi says:

    I am new to your blog and I am grateful to have found you. Like all the others listed below, this is so what I needed today. I often doubt myself and then think that others doubt me, but in reality maybe I am the only one standing in my way. I do have a cheering section of fans…maybe I need to quiet the nay-sayer that is ME and listen to them! THANK YOU! 🙂

  28. Carrie Vines says:

    Every time I read one of your posts, I feel so inspired and uplifted. This post felt like it was written just for me, and then I read all the comments and realize I’m not alone in my feelings of insecurity and doubt. You have such a gift for reaching out to all of us budding photographers and encouraging each one of us to spread our wings and Fly!

    My leap is about trying to connect, honestly connect with other photographers and not feel inadequate or intimidated. My leap is also about trusting myself that I can have this dream of being a full time photographer.

    I’m glad you made this post! Thank you.

  29. Paris Parfait says:

    So true! We have to be persistent and keep trying; we must never give up on our dreams. Wonderful analogy, Me Rah.

  30. denise karis says:

    woooooooooooow! Omg, MERA! That second photo is wonderful – this whole post is wonderful! Myself? Im on the ground wondering if I should climb back up for another go. Im wondering if Im kidding myself. Part of me is thinking, “You’re getting better, thats what your goal was, to always keep improving, keep getting better and if you do that, in a while, youll be where you want to be” another part of me is thinking, “This is taking FOREVER, lets just stay here on the ground for another week or two”

    The ‘jump’ im debating if i should take is shooting a wedding for the first time – a girlfriend from high schools little sister is getting married and shes stressed out at photographers prices – I got an email asking “Why on earth it’s 5k to shoot a wedding and another 1.5k for an album” 😛 So if I can learn more about reception lighting by may 22nd of 2010 I think I might be shooting her wedding…. wow… talk about a tall branch to jump off of.

  31. Carrie Miller says:

    What a great story, I’m so glad you decided to post it.

    Flight? There really wasn’t much flight involved for me. I just leaped out of my cozy little nest before my eyes were even fully opened. I assumed my wings would work and didn’t even think of the consequences until I was midair and started flapping around. Even though my tiny wings were going a mile a minute I felt myself sink like a rock. Sitting here at the bottom of the tree has given me some time to work of my strengths and think about my mistakes.

    Now this brave little bird is just waiting around, hoping and praying for a little gush of wind to lift me up when I jump again.

  32. Wendi says:

    I posted a comment above and staying true to my “fearful” actions I did not post a link to go with my name. Re-reading all of the comments has inspired me to come back, say thank you to all of those (in addition to Me Ra) who so bravely told their stories of their leaps. My leap comes in the form of leaving the “secure” job to branch out and take a chance at doing what makes me truly happy. For years I stopped dreaming about what COULD be because I thought it was not possible. I am finding out that with this kind of support, ANYTHING is possible! I struggle with confidence in my abilities but I taking classes and always learning and growing which is all I can ask for at this point. I am not the best photographer, but I plan on becoming one! Thanks to everyone for your stories.

  33. Sara C says:

    YES this was SOOO needed exactly when it was posted! God is amazing all the time. 🙂

    I was so dumbfounded at my first few leaps that I didn’t even realize I was leaping. It was almost like a toddler taking those first steps without even knowing they are doing it. They even fall on their padded little heinys and LAUGH their heads off. They don’t seem to know it’s “supposed to hurt.” Somewhere along the way I realized I was leaping and bashing into walls and started to notice all my battle wounds.

    Awash in unseen depression and overwhelmed at my husband’s business travel God prompted me to put the business end of my photography down. Two weeks later He showed me that a tender little spirit was growing inside of me. Little did I know that growing and nurturing her inside of my body would start such an unspeakably magnificent journey of healing. Through her He healed so many wounds from our journey through infertility and high-risks-galore when we finally were able to carry our son to term.

    Now, here I am almost 2 years later and He’s guiding me back to the talent He bore in me through a lens. And this time… that “first” leap has been thrilling and exciting and anything but “unnoticed!”

    Me Ra, He has used you in such a powerful way to encourage my spirit. And in return, JUST THIS MORNING before I logged on, I was encouraging a new photographer. She did her first session just the other day and she is AMAZING with adult couples!!! Absolutely fabulous!! If it weren’t for the encouragement here I wouldn’t have been brave enough to leap again right now and I certainly wouldn’t have been brave enough to encourage someone else.

    So I stand on the cusp of another leap. I’ve done all the legal things – flapped my wings as fast as I could – to get myself off the ground again. I’m scared spitless and yet thrilled to no end. My reward for taking these leaps… I FINALLY bought my first lens today… a 50mm f/1.8 so that I can take the shots I want of the 7 day old I get to photograph tomorrow. ANOTHER leap… I’ve had a dSLR for a month short of FIVE years and never bought another lens for it (18-70mm f/3.5-4.5) because I just didn’t think I’d do that much better.

    Yammer yammer yammer, but THANK YOU for sharing your authentic journey. You never build yourself up on here to give us some standard to live up to… you are just yourself and make it ok for us to be OURselves as we walk this road and capture one 1/250 of a second at a time.

  34. Rhonda says:

    I love the way you look at things.
    Your insight is God given.
    There is more to be learned from this post than the obvious for me. Although the obvious is something I clammer with – always wondering if I’m in over my head, if I’m not going to get so lucky the next time, if I’m ever going to the point where I know I can nail the shot when I need to.
    But the truth is, I’m not doing this for me. I’m doing this for God and of course it isn’t luck, it’s HIM working through me. And of course I’m never going to be sufficient myself.
    And the less obvious lessons…
    Pay attention. God is at work all around me and His glory is shining in the unobvious. His still small voice comes in ways that I can’t imagine… maybe from the gift of having dinner on the patio at a time when a little bird is getting ready to take flight.

    You and your friends could have missed this moment had you been caught up in business. Thank GOD you weren’t!
    And thank YOU for deciding to post this, even though it may have seemed silly.

    Which brings me to one more less obvious lesson – I never can know who God may want to touch, teach, comfort, etc… through the things He gives me that I feel might be silly to share.

    Thanks again!

  35. Jeannie says:

    Yes, yes, yes! Carrie H., you took the words out of my mouth. Thank you for the post, Me Ra.

  36. Treva says:

    i am so ready to jump…actually i already did…i ordered your dvds…waiting for them to arrive…in the meantime, i keep shooting photos and documented a day in the life for my baby’s 2nd birthday

    thanks for sharing your story

    you are an inspiration

  37. […] I’m really excited about this week’s blog posts! Some of you may not know this, but I draft up ideas for each week to make sure there is a good flow to the blog’s overall week. I try to think about what types of posts we should have, what types we haven’t done in awhile, and most of all, what all of YOU want. The drafting process works well if I stay open to it changing at the last minute, like a baby bird taking it’s First Flight. […]

  38. Dear Me Ra,
    I know you wrote this blog post in July, yet I have just found your sight in a link from a NAPP newsletter…just in time to enter the SOAR Scholarship.
    I used to have a lot more confidence, but since our son’s accident, I have slowly withered away from even going out…a car accident on my way home from a long work week in March of 07 put me out on disability, which has been a long journey back towards health and healing both physically from the accident and emotionally and mentally from my son’s tragic accident.
    I had given up the will to even live several times and it was just by God’s amazing grace that I am alive today…and back on my journey towards living again. I need to do this not just for myself, but for my husband and our one remaining child…my daughter who lost not only her brother, but her best friend in all the world…they did everything together. Our family was so tight-knit and losing William has been such a terrible blow, that we are still, four years later trying to pick up the pieces of our broken hearts…and learn to live again in honor of our son’s honor…because he had such a zest for life and wouldn’t even think before taking flight like this baby bird.
    I am putting my all into what I have learned about photography and am trying to get my business up off the ground. I’ve been in the RED every year since I started with a website while I was on disability in 2007.
    This coming year of 2010, I’m not just going to try again…I’m going to take the leap and fly…no…not just fly ~ I want to SOAR!!!!
    Thank you for the inspiration and encouragement you give to women everywhere. You have truly blessed my life in the week since I’ve seen your site.
    And I sincerely “Thank my God upon every remembrance of you”
    I wish I could hug you and say thank you for turning my life around!
    Susan Reynolds

  39. I just linked to this post out of curiosity when reading the post of your SOAR winners…I didn’t have confidence in myself to apply…What a fabulous story and great metaphor. I met you briefly in NYC at the PDN after your presentation on the floor with SONY.. I have been following you on Twitter and befriended you on Facebook since then. You are a delight and joy and totally inspiring….I hope to meet you again one day and maybe even join in one of your inspiration seminars. in the meantime…all best to you and your family for the New Year. Thanks for your gift to all of us who follow you!
    Hugs, Hillary

  40. The older I get, the more I realize that things happen exactly as they are meant to, in order to guide me on my journey… I stopped a complete stranger on the street the other day because she was running and, well, I needed a running partner for this silly little race on Saturday. And can you imagine – she was excited to do it! So we ran yesterday for the first time together and while running, she told me about you – sent me the link last night. You see, I am the bird in the nest, thinking about photography, loving it, but unsure about jumping – unsure about my path. This post completely inspires me, as does your entire site. I know we will meet, because your workshops sound amazing (jodi williams took it – she is now my running partner) and I think that, as a mom of four boys, it is exactly what I have been searching for this past year in my attempt to find “me” in all of this~
    Have a fabulous weekend!
    xx

  41. Patti O'Brien Prince says:

    Thank you, Me Ra. What timing you have, must have been listening in on my dreams last night. I woke up this morning and the first thing I did was look at the note you wrote on my name tag from the Seattle Workshop. ” I love your courage & desire to go for it!. Then I read your post TODAY I so needed this boost of encouragement. You ARE amazing. Love to you and your family. xoxo

  42. Darcy White says:

    This is a great illustration of “first flights”! I plan to share with my son, too! We are totally in to birds right now! Thank you for sharing, Me Ra!! XO!